Kill Chiba

We had a Sonny “The Street Fighter” Chiba marathon last night. I was a little hesitant about it, because it was a boxed set of three films, entitled The Kill Chiba Collection. The box is yellow with a black racing stripe down the right margin, with a picture of Sonny Chiba next to it .I was worried because I figured it’s just some company putting together some crummy movies to make some dough off of the very well made, Kill Bill films. I figured they’d be awful, terrible films worse than Full Circle. But my favorite guy in the entire world, my brother Jason, bought it for me so I would never ever voice this opinion out loud and risk hurting his feelings. My fears turned out to be totally unfounded, and I had a really great time.

First up was The Bullet Train. It was okay, not my favorite flick in the set or ever, but not bad. Imagine Speed on an extremely fast train, without Keanu Reeves, Sandra Bullock, Jeff Daniels, and last but not least the villainous Dennis Hopper (soon to be seen on NBC’s-I think- E-Ring). Which is where this movie fails, by not having actors like the ones mentioned above to keep us entertained. That and the filmmakers couldn’t seem to decide whose story they wanted to tell, the good guys’ or bad guy’s. The villain in this flick actually turns out to not be so bad, and is one of the more likeable characters in the film. When the railway authorities inevitably track him down, I found myself wishing that he would get away, which he almost did, but goes out in a fashion similar to that of my uncle, Bobby DeNiro’s character does in Heat.

Second was, The Executioner, aka Hell Fist. This was an awesome flick, not great in the sense that it’s a great film, but great in the fact that I had a really great time watching it. The plot is kind of complex for a film that’s meant to be a straightforward martial arts flick. It’s hilarious though. If Hollywood put out more action flicks like this one, they wouldn’t have lost so much money this year. The action sequences are great, I can totally see where Quentin Tarantino was coming from now, with all the gore and eye gouging etc. Plus it is so funny, and not in a stupid or retarded way that only gets those under thirteen to laugh and not groan with the anxiety of wasting six bucks on a flick that seems like preschoolers put together on a day off-see Dukes of Hazzard and the Walking Tall remake. This movie has some truly great moments, a lot of it character driven, another thing Hollywood could learn to add to its flicks. Plus there’s a little gratuitous nudity, which in flicks like this goes a long way.

The third and final film of the night was Golgo 13: Assignment Kowloon. Not a bad movie, but not as good as The Executioner. Sonny Chiba plays Golgo 13, taken from the Bible-Golgo for Golgotha, and 13 because the “13th man gave Christ the crown of thorns-a hitman who goes around killing people, or trying to for most of the movie. His motivation is never really revealed, but in flicks like this, also with a little gratuitous nudity, who cares. Right? Anyway, much to the chagrin of the cops, Golgo 13 kills off the baddies and gets away, to fight another day.

Roswell: Crazy and sex, lies, & videotape