Family Affair

Jason and I had another DVD and pizza party last night.

We started the night with Dangerous Curves (new), a Carradine family affair as it starred brothers David and Robert, and Marina Carradine (David’s wife). The film isn’t that great, but don’t tell my brother as he’s the one who bought it for me. Robert Carradine plays a lawyer, John Burnside, who spies an ex-lover, Stella (Maxine Bahns), in the background of a photo he’s researching for another case. What exactly she did to spurn him I’m not sure and why exactly he drops his big case to go off to Ireland/doubling for who knows where in America, looking for her, I’m not sure; but all of this he does. Once he arrives in this mysterious locale, Burnside discovers that Stella is mixed up with all kinds of baddies, what exactly they do is not clear, except for the arms dealer with the fake Russian accent who’s two female lackeys have a disturbing love for chopping off penises and keeping them preserved in glass jars. There’s an empty jar on their shelf with John Burnside’s name on it. Involved in all this is Stella’s neighbor who thinks Burnside is a murderer because he sees Burnside standing over the dead body of some dude in Stella’s apartment, Stella has conveniently fled the scene. Another wacky character in the mix is Lemmy (David Carradine) who is head over heels in love with Stella. David Carradine must be good friends with Roger Corman, because he makes a total fool of himself in this flick. Although it’s a nice change from the hard edged characters he’s played recently and adds several humorous and touching scenes to the wanna be film noir flick. Maxine Bahns, who was Ed Burn’s leading lady till he broke up with her, is delightful at Stella, who screws both of her suitors in the end, although not in the way they hoped. Throughout the entire movie I was trying to figure out who she was, and didn’t find out until the end when I checked the Bio extra feature on the disc.

Since the next movie, Knocking on Death’s Door, is a horror flick, we decided to wait until it got darker to watch it, to bide our time we watched the last episode of the first season of 21 Jumpstreet. Tom Hanson, Johnny Depp’s character, goes undercover in a gang of “punks”-we’re talking 80’s punks here guys-to disband the gang and get the dirt on their leader so he can be put in prison and his influence taken away from the simple minded teenagers of his gang. Let’s face it; Johnny Depp’s earlier work isn’t that great. Anyone who has seen this series or Nightmare on Elm Street can testify to that, but in this episode, the talent that he has cultivated and made him the artist he is today, is finally becoming apparent. It’s really cool to watch him grow as an actor on the show. Included on this disc were some “bonus” interviews. The most interesting interview was the one with the show’s creator, in which he explains how the show got started and how Johnny Depp almost never got his break with this show.

The next flick on the night’s schedule was, Knocking on Death’s Door, another David Carradine/Roger Corman project. The problem with this film is that the filmmakers take it seriously and there’s none of the campy humor that makes these flicks fun, and turning it into an average horror movie. Once again, characters appear and disappear for no apparent reason, and several minor plot points don’t make much sense. There’s nowhere near enough nudity, although there is a hot masturbation scene, in which the lead female, (Kimberly Rowe) does herself, although all we get to see is her hand moving beneath her jeans.

Jason took a little nap during Knocking on Death’s Door, and was feeling refreshed enough to suggest watching another movie, so I popped in G. I. Jane, which I was going to watch anyway, whether he had woken up or not. Jason’s seen it before and has a copy of is own, so I didn’t think it would matter. The films not bad, but all I can say is who cares? I mean, Demi Moore’s character is not really likeable.

The real story, I think, is with Viggo Mortensen’s character. He’s the interesting one; he’s the one I want to know more about. Why does this actor not get more work? He’s a terrific actor. The whole poetic side to his character in the movie was his own invention. The book of D. H. Lawrence poems he gives to Demi Moore’s character at the end is his own, personal copy, or was until he passed it on. It adds a totally new and different side to the character and the film. He picked the perfect poem to use considering the element and themes of the film. Besides, what other actor working today could make playing the typical military hard-on into such an interesting and complex character. Even the great Robert DeNiro does not do as well in Men of Honor. And I have it on good authority that in The Lord of the Rings movies, each actor was given two swords, a “stunt” sword which was light to make it less tiring on them for the fight sequences, and a “hero” sword which was used for all the close ups and was the weight of a regular sword, i. e. pretty damn heavy. Guess which one our Viggo used the entire time. That’s correct, the hero sword, no wussy stunt swords for this actor. He used the hero sword, by the way, to capture the fatigue that his character would really be feeling. Oh, if only other actors would take lessons from this guy, Hollywood might actually be making some money.

Viggo Moretensen in G. I. Jane